Single foster parenting?
Natalie asked:
I am considering becoming a foster parent. I am 24 and live in a 2 bedroom apartment. Does the type of home one lives in have any bearing on this? I found in my state that each child must have 50 sq ft of sleeping space.
Also, as a single parent, what are your options for daycare? what about a parent that works night shift or long hours? (I work in a hospital 3 days a week).
Just any advice, insight, or opinions about any issues regarding single foster parenting would be great for me right now. thanks
Judith Deville
I am considering becoming a foster parent. I am 24 and live in a 2 bedroom apartment. Does the type of home one lives in have any bearing on this? I found in my state that each child must have 50 sq ft of sleeping space.
Also, as a single parent, what are your options for daycare? what about a parent that works night shift or long hours? (I work in a hospital 3 days a week).
Just any advice, insight, or opinions about any issues regarding single foster parenting would be great for me right now. thanks
Judith Deville
January 31st, 2009 at 8:35 am
Wait until you are married.
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:28 am
If ur all planned to adopt a child,its very good thought,but regardin ur job schedule, i would advice u to adopt a child who is more than 5yrs ,so tht when ur on job ur child will be in school,so u wont have any tension keepin him/her at home alone when ur on job.N regardin home space tht doesnt matter, i think ur home is big enough to it.So go for it.
February 6th, 2009 at 11:42 am
I am a foster parent in Virginia so the regulations might be different where you are. It sounds like you’ve already checked into your state laws. If you haven’t already, you should call your local social services and ask if they are having a foster parent orientation anytime soon. That will answer a lot of your questions, too.
I’m married so I’m only answering from what I have heard from caseworkers and other foster parents, but I think that single foster parents are very very important. There are many kids that, b/c what they have been through, would be better off with just a male or just a female in the house.
In my city, social services pays for day care if the foster parent works at least 20 hours a week. You might want to start calling around and find a place that offers evening or night hours. My city requires that daycare providers be licensed and insured in order for them to pay for it. If you can’t find a daycare that you like that meets your hours, ask social services if there are any foster parents that do respite or emergency care that might be willing to do evening care for you.
Living in an apartment is fine. As long as your home is safe and has adequate room for each child, you’ll pass that part of the homestudy.
A great resource is. They have great forums! Check out the link below. There is a whole board for foster care info and support. My id on there is KenandShelly. Look me up, if you want!
February 6th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
I would wait until you have a husband
February 7th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
I adopted as a single parent through the foster adoptive parent program and worked with these kids some 20 years..i currently coach foster/adoptive parents (www.beep.com/members/kim2c)Many agencies are desperate for foster parents and have day care subsidies available but these will most often be through contracted agencies that offer traditioanl hours of care. To pay for a private provider for non-traditional hours would probably cost more over all than you recieve in subsidies for being foster parent. These children tend to be extremely needy and require committment and consistency. I am unasure of your motivation but it is something to consider deeply. Children over age 2 must have a seperate bedroom and yes there requirements the home must meet (it is the house that is licensed along with you-ie you couldn’t move to a new house and operate with the same foster care license without the new home being approved. There is no guarantee if a foster child would be with you 2 weeks or 2 years although you can designate preferances. Are you prepared to become attached to a child and then give it back? If you are single there are many other sacrifices one must make…like dating many different people if you have time to date at all. These kids need routine and consistency and they have already had many strangerscome into their lives so stability with you is important. There are other opportunities through Mentoring or CASA to work with these same children without having to give up such a large part of your personal life. Also, consider the cost of caring for a child apprpriately costs much more than one recieves from the state per child for foster care, so are you willing to have to spend your money for their necessities. If I can assist more
February 9th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
I’m currently 22 and I’m a single foster parent. I live in the state of SC and the size of the room doesn’t matter but that you do have to have an extra bedroom for the child. As a foster child the child qualifies for the ABC voucher meaning the state pays its daycare cost. It really doesnt matter what shift you work but what day cares are willing to work with you.
February 11th, 2009 at 8:03 am
It depends what state. In NJ the Size of room does matter and if a child is over the age of 2 then they need to have their own room unless they have medical needs etc.
I do not think there is anything wrong with someone who is “single” becoming a foster parent. I work for the State of NJ as a Resource Worker (previously known as a Foster care worker) and I am the person who does “Home Studies” on people becoming a Resource Home for foster children, adoptive children, or relative care….I have done many Home Studies on a “single” person. And in NO way to I feel you need to be married or have a husband etc like the other people said.
In NJ…we do offer daycare. The state pays a certain amount either a day/week/month, and then the person is responsible for the rest if it goes over. Being single and working night hours will most likely not work in your favor. The only way that has worked for me…is if there was someone else in the home that has been approved watching the child.
If you could change your work schedule…that would help…because without that…where would a child go or be in the middle of the night etc?
And you have to make sure that you have the time and energy for a child. A lot of the children that go through the foster care system have issues due to the fact that they have either been recently ripped out of the arms of one of their parents, or have bounced around from foster home to foster home…… So definitely think about that and good luck!